Story reads somethin' like this - An Aussie treks to Brooklyn, NY to hunt down Stu Spasm, meets a few likeminded seppos and forms a band that nods to some of the harshest swamp rock ever gargled from the asbestos throaters of his homeland. They gig regularly with Lubricated Goat and I slid most of the questions in that general direction, case you didn't notice the vague 'theme' of this interview. They've got one self-titled LP to their name and a bunch of 7"s. Hop on that bus.

Interview with:
BWS: Brett W. Schultz - Vocals, Gtr
KGB: Kristian Brenchley - Gtr, Vocals
SB: Skeleton Boy - Bass

By Brendon Annesley

NGL: There is at least one Australian in the band. Who made the move to bagel country, and why flee our soft bosom of a nation?

KGB: Well, I'd been in Australia for the first 25 years of my life straight, and as we all know you can get very cramped living there. I mean, you could be doing anything and the rest of the world wouldn't care. Having lived overseas for ten years now I find that people might only think of Australia once every six months, whereas we have Australia on our mind constantly. That being said, I do miss Australia a lot and will be back for a visit shortly. Culturally, NYC is very much along the same lines as Melbourne, but ten fold.

NGL: When was your champion LP released?

SB: Last August on the anniversary of Elvis' death.

NGL: You have played some mildly prolific shows, have any surreal experiences spore from them?

BWS: One of the most surreal for me was probably when Skeleton Boy's lunatic ex-roommate showed up at a gig we played at Cake Shop in the Lower East Side and decided that the stage props we were desperately lacking were shards of broken glass. That entire set was spent narrowly avoiding a deluge of half-empty beer bottles. There was also our first show as the current and permanent line-up that we played in Cleveland, Ohio. Kristian had contracted malaria or whatever midwestern equivalent and looked like death rolled over. Nothing was in tune. I'm not sure we completed a single song. Skeleton Boy had someone video-record that show. Pretty sure we burned the tape. There was also the vaguely legendary Chrome Cranks reunion show at Glasslands, but I'll let Skeleton Boy tell that one.

SB: Let's just say that somehow during that set, I came to the conclusion that we weren't playing up to our usual high standards of quality and naturally, the most professional thing to do under those circumstances is to smash up all of your equipment and a decent chunk of the venue's back wall. Imagine my surprise when the rest of the band did not agree . . .

NGL: Who are some of the better local bands? Have you ever been key witness to a mugging?

BWS: I think everyone in the band will agree that we love playing with Pop 1280, K-Holes, Lubricated Goat, and West Coast pals like Magick Daggers. Lots of the bands we used to play regularly with have come and gone though. We're still truckin'. As for muggings, NYC ain't really what it used to be. You might get overcharged for a cup of coffee though.

SB: That whole 'mugging' thing is strictly for tourists and was much better back in the nineties. I have, however, been stabbed on the subway which is a lot more fun.

NGL: You're about to play with Lubricated Goat, and it's not difficult to spot the influence. Can you talk about some of your favorite Australian bands, and try to 'articulate' why you think my beautiful country has been able to produce such a vast and varied smorgasbord of unique, spiny & dangerous rock'n'roll?

SB: Anything involving Rowland S. Howard or The Beasts is usually on heavy rotation around here . . . as is the mighty Lubricated Goat. I'm a big fan of the warped creativity of that whole Black Eye Records scene - Salamander Jim, Thug, those "Waste Sausage" and "Leather Donut" compilations that Lachlan McLeod put out. Never get tired of listening to the first three Surrealists albums, they've got such a great atmosphere to them, a very unsettling vibe. Sleazy and ominous. More recent bands such as The Drones, Witch Hats and HTRK have also kept my slim hope for humanity alive. I don't know why Australia has given birth to so much prime and primal material but I'm certainly not complaining. The world needs more unique and dangerous rock and roll . . .

NGL: Any magnificent yarns involving Stu Spasm?

SB: We were actually flatmates for a year or so . . . too many good times to recount here. Stu's one of my favorite people - an endlessly creative, wickedly funny and refreshingly unpretentious guy. Aside from the Goat, he's currently playing bass in a band called Love Struck with his partner Lady Anne, so check that out as well. And yes, it's true, he does make his own teeth.

End Interview.